Conviction. Confession. Inspiration.

Listening to Questioning Christianity by Tim Keller led to a moment of reckoning and inspiration for me. In it, Keller gives talks on seven fundamental topics in life and culture seeking to show that Christianity has the best resources to explain how we experience the world and satisfy our deepest longings. People who don’t believe in Jesus were invited and Keller concluded each talk with a question and answer time.

One question that was repeated in different episodes was “if Christianity has the best resources in these areas, why don’t we see better fruit in the church and in the lives of Christians? Why can so many Christians be cold hearted, churches splinter in conflict and Christian leaders burn out from overwork or flame out from moral failures?”. Keller’s response was simple, but it arrested my attention. To paraphrase he said, “We Christians don’t always live as deeply as we could out of the resources that we have.”

Conviction & Confession

When I heard that I was instantly convicted. I was in my 9th year as a pastor within an over 20 year career in full-time vocational ministry. I was far from satisfied by the spiritual fruit in my life, especially at home. I had to admit that I am the one that can be cold-hearted, critical, over-working and inconsistent in living out my own beliefs. Of course, no one is perfect. And over the years there has been grace and growth. But the amount of fear, anxiety and selfishness that persisted and the impact I saw this had on my family led to a lot of soul searching. While acknowledging graces to celebrate I also had to be honest about my gaps.

I wanted to be a more loving person. I wanted to see more fruit of the Spirit in my life (Galatians 5:22-23), live out more of the divine nature I now have in Christ (2 Peter 1:3-4) and experience more freedom from strongholds that have held me back (2 Corinthians 10:4). In short, I wanted to be more deeply formed.

“Deeply Formed” is a phrase that stuck with me. It represents something I’m experiencing but it’s also aspirational, something not yet completed. I do not possess it fully but I am pressing on to make it my own because Jesus has made me his own (Philippians 3:7-16) and the work he started in me he will complete (Philippians 1:6). It’s a road that can be mysterious and full of twists and turns, but it’s good. There is sin, brokenness and pain to face along the way but love, grace and beauty abound to press through it into freedom, healing and joy.

Inspiration

Over the course of my life I’ve had a handful of intense seasons of wrestling with the Lord over my identity and purpose. 2020-2023 was an extended season that took me back to a pivotal moment twenty years earlier. While on a personal retreat at that time, I believe the Lord met me with clarity while meditating on Colossians 1:28-29.

“Him we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom that we may present everyone mature in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.”

This text is what the Lord used to draw me into full-time Christian ministry and it still resonates with me today. Deeply Formed is just the latest expression of a work I was invited into decades earlier. I want to grow in maturity and help others do the same by experiencing Jesus and doing it all through the energy he provides.

While on this road I’m sharing what I find compelling and helpful to me for whatever help it may offer others. If you are on a journey of your own and find help from what’s helping me, welcome. If what I have to offer isn’t helpful to you, that’s ok. I anticipate the Lord will lead you to what will. There are sure to be bumps along the way, but having Jesus with us in all the details of our lives we have what we need to take each step.

Deeply Formed Origins